Jaadu ki jhappi

I had the opportunity today, to talk to a good man. He has off late been in a bad state of affairs.

In many ways, he represents to me, as real a manifestation of Howard Roark as I can claim to have seen till now.
Lately, he hasnt been himself, and today I nudged and pushed him till he came out with what was eating him up. We spoke for 5 straight hours.
It ended with him asking me to shake his hand. I say, 'Can you give me something better and give him a hug'. It felt nice. And i think, a tear came out of his eyes.
It reminded me of the days I got my jaadu ki jhappi. I will never forget you lovely stranger who came into my life. Your hugs have healed so many of my wounds, I dont know what would have become of me without you.
Hope he finds his peace soon, and resumes a normal life

Becoming what you hate

I have been warned by many sane people to not hate anyone or anything. They say that you eventually become what you hate.
I used to hate slobs or ... in some sense ... people with no goals. Needless to say, I have become one of them. I dont intend to make whine in this post, but rather to declare that I do know what I am, and to say that as of now, I'm quite happy being this way.
Having a purpose is over-rated. Aimlessness, can be tough on you, but teaches you a lot of things that you never intended to learn.

Bibendum in the making

Being an insufferable weight watcher, I jump at every oppourtunity to check my weight and see that I am as heavy as I can be. And I'm proud to say that it has been a constant ( more of less :P ) 68.5 kgs. Two years of mindless gluttony, and i have finally made it. I have worked, i mean eaten, hard to reach this state and plan to stay there.
Its another issue altogether that i have a pot-belly. Its a sign of prosperity as far as I'm concerned.
My aim of course is to eventually become a rolly-polly individual whose body jiggles every time he laughs. Much like bibendum. The arms and legs refuse to get bigger anytime soon though. I need to plan a long time strategy for that.
Well, im getting there. Slowly but surely.

Addiciton

I am so far beyond being addicted to the internet, that its scary. I find it a surreal experience to do everyday tasks like travel by bus or go shopping with a friend. Im very aware of everything yet clueless as to what exactly to do. Completely disconnected from everything that is around me.
The odd thing though, is how acceptable i think my situation is. I want to have as little as possible to do with real life. Id rather live in the electronic bubble that the internet is, than go out and face the weirdness of the world.
I still remember the SEA-ME-WE 4 disaster last year, when I experienced freakish withdrawal symptoms. I mean couldnt sleep, couldnt stay awake, restlessness, not able to taste anything. It was all so unreal!
I do understand that this has to change, soon. I always tell myself, it will happen in its own time, dunno when exactly though.

Writing an essay

Today, i wrote an 'essay' about 'What can be done to develop India in the next five years' for my little sister.
The first thing I did, after agreeing to write the essay, was to ask her, what she thought could improve india. It is interesting to know what kind of half baked ideas exist in the minds of the little ones.Whats more interesting is, how similar they are to the ones I have. At
Some realizations I had while 'writing the essay'
a. I have no clue how or what to write in an essay, Im still as clueless as i was in class 8. Initially i thought i would write in broken sentences and make deliberate mistakes in grammar and language so that it looks like the writing of a 13 year old. Surprise, surprise! I actually didnt need to put in any conscious effort to write that way. And my 'essay' ended up being more of less of a badly edited blog post.
b. Computers make writing stuff so much easier. I wrote what looked like 3/4 of a screen, it ended up being 1.5 pages long irl(in real life). The length of the essay has always been a big challenge for me.More generally, the length of the answers in exams. I have never, for the life of me, been able to reach the 'mark' when it comes to writing answers of prescribed length. Whenever there's a word limit or a minimum number of words mentioned, i get so obsessed with then numbers, that i end up making desperate attempts to write. Its not that i have insufficient vocabulary or lack ideas, just that, the very existence of that number makes me ..... well, i dont know the exact word.
When it comes to putting pen to paper, id rather solve a math problem or draw something than write. I am almost autistic in this reagard.